Thursday, October 12, 2006

Subdivision names -- where are the quail?

We have a joke in our house that subdivisions are always named for whatever they destroyed – no oaks left in Oak Grove, no quail in Quail Hollow, no foxes left in Foxcroft, and so on.

Check out this fun (but – warning! – slow-loading) site from Denver.

I love the grid. Anyone want to try a grid for Charlotte?

If you do, here’s my short list of what to include:Sharon. Quail. Providence. Carmel. Pines. Oak/Oaks. Leas. Stone. Forest. Park. (Anything)-stead. Meadows. Hill. Haven. Croft. Park. Landing. Shores. Preserve.

Odd, we don't have a Possum Hollow. Or Toad Landing. Or Kudzu Croft.

If you were naming a subdivision, what would you call it?

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your writing is like a train wreck. You can't help but look at it but it's almost always depressing.

What would I name a subdivison?: Newsom's Way

and, given your political bent, only left turns would be allowed.

Anonymous said...

Sharon Crest at Mediocre Meadows

Anonymous said...

How about naming them after what happens most frequently in those subdivisions:

Crash Corner
Larceny Gardens
Killing Fields
and on the lighter side...
Transfat Valley

I know...maybe a bit too cynical...

Anonymous said...

Natives Ridge.....only people born in Charlotte could live there. Ahhh, that would be paradise! Though there would only be about ten people living there, including myself.

Anonymous said...

In our house we have a joke too - stay in our nice, safe suburb in union County with low taxes, good schools, trees, good neighbors, etc etc etc and let the Uptown Elite live with high crime, high taxes, overbudget & doomed to failure light rail, ridiculous new arts packages, homeless problems, gang problems, riots at 4th of July parties etc etc etc etc

The joke is The Uptown Elite thinks all that 'stuff' will make them world class. They think they need all that crap to compete. keep thinking that and I'll enjoy my low crime, low taxes and good schools out here in Union County. Yes, I need to drive a few extra minutes to get anywhere - and I know you'll complain I'm killing the environment as I drive my kids in our SUV, but I'll choose safety for my kids and low taxes over having the elites try and dictate to me how to live.

have a good chuckle Mary...the joke is on you and your kind.

Anonymous said...

I thought you become native to Charlotte as soon as you say "might could?"

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

The Mimosas By Belvedere

Cato said...

The Swiftian wit of the Newsom household is basically a recycling of the old saw that the suburbs are where they cut down the trees and name the streets after them. The only attribution I can find through a quick search of Google is to Mad Magazine.

I certainly don't buy into most of the nonsense of the Smart Growth crowd, but my generic term for cookie-cutter subdivisions is "Candy A-- Acres."

Anonymous said...

How about these:

- Cankerworm Haven
- McMansion Alley
- Overgrown Ivy Terrace
- Kudzu Acres
- "No Driving Without a Cell Phone" Alley

Yes, I live in the Freedom Park Area, currently under destruction. Coming to a perfectly pleasant and historic neighborhood near you soon!

Anonymous said...

Mary I love your blog. I think we see a lot of similarities in other things too and how they are named... SouthPark, Eastland, Northlake, etc...

Anonymous said...

Southern Plantation
Chateau Gheteau
Union Elite Estates
Weddington Wahabists
Stepford Steppe
Dill-worth on Pickle Plantation
White Lily
Burnt Woods
Bloated Bungalows
Rick's Ranch

These come courtesy from the fine estates of...

Danimal Dairy

For directions to any of these fine homes, look for all the pink and yellow signs on the road side five miles before your destination (on weekends only, of course).

Anonymous said...

Actually Uptown has one of the least crime rates of the entire city...

And yes, light rail, arts, etc help make this a stronger, more diverse and exciting community.

And wasn't their just a dead body found in Union County and a meth lab bust?

I'm not saying one place is better than the other, what I am saying is: please, shut the hell up.

Anonymous said...

Charlotte is nothing but a bunch of wealthy hicks.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to direct everyone to comment #75 on the last thread.

When faced with his inability to compose a rational argument to support light rail, this poster immediately resorts to threats of physical violence.

That's embarrassing, but it does show the mentality of some in that camp. It makes Rebecca's earlier reference to brown shirts all the more appropriate.

Usually this forum discusses important topics - like light rail. I've got to wonder at why the topic was changed after just 2 days following a 3 week hiatus.

Could it be that there was too much truth being put out there?

Anonymous said...

Rick - Get a life.

Anonymous said...

It is necessary to resort to violence because talking to people like you is like talking to a WALL.

Anonymous said...

At least someone gets my obscure references!

Anonymous said...

Barclay Downs
Snotscroft
Sharon Woods
Fairmeadows
Myers Park

Whenever I have to drive my kids to one of their friends houses, they ususally live in one of these puffed up areas. We too play a game where we change the names to:

Barclay Downer
Snotscroft
No Sharon Woods
Unfairmeadows
Myers Snark

Anonymous said...

Oops - Foxcroft = Snotscroft

Anonymous said...

...and you are right. I AM just jealous.

Unknown said...

I agree that there are too many Sharon's, Quail and Crofts in Charlotte subdivisions. I think the trend using those names happened about15 years ago. I think the objective of those name associations was an attempt to link their subdivision with the south charlotte image and high home values.

Once the subdivision is named, you're kind of stuck with it forever. My subdivision is named Ravenwood. When you hear the squawking crows every afternoon, you realize how it got its name. The developer had a good sense of humor. Hickory Grove, next to us still has many, large hickory trees around.

In my opinion, when a subdivision is named after its local character,the name becomes more meaningful and genuine. When the same old trite Quail or Sharon names are used, somehow it becomes phony and rings hollow.

Anonymous said...

I would much rather live in my small place in walkable and progressive Dilworth than in some lifeless and sterile box in conservative suburbia. I can't imagine a worse fate than living in one of those crappy tract houses in a subdivision where are all the trees are gone and the houses are so close together that you can shake hands through the kitchen window. Shudder. And be surrounded by polluting SUV drving W sticker Rethugs. That said how about: White, Christian and Straight Only Estates or Raped of Trees Ridge?

Anonymous said...

Regarding fun names – how about an english village - the current rage - themed subdivision called: Sprawlshire on Pasturefield - with street names like O'cul-de-sacey, Bermstead, McMansoshanty, Tweefakeygate, Curbappealingham, Threegaragedoorchester, Sevengablenes, Shamcastle ...

Anonymous said...

Honda Odyssey Mini-Van Village

Anonymous said...

I'll have to agree with Rick that the fighting statements are not accaptable. Mary, Why have these types of comments not been pulled from the blog?

I've said it before, I'll say it again. If you don't like the policies of Charlotte and Mecklenburg county, by all means, please move to Union County or Fort Mill, etc. I can fully understand your decisions to do so. On the other hand, don't moan and groan about those of us who choose to live in Charlotte and pay more to do so. You made your choice and we made ours, and the government didn't force any of us to do either. I've noticed that when you move away from one place, you trade the problems of that place for a whole new set of problems in the place that you are now.

It all evens out folks.

Danimal

Anonymous said...

www.samharris.com
A bit from Sam Harris' new mini book "Letter To A Christian Nation".

Stem cell research: The potential for a cell.
Murder of a living being, a soul ?

Stem Cells:
Stems cells needed for scientific research need to be 3 days old. At this stage they contain 150 cells and are called blastocyst. For the sake of comparison there are 100,000 cells in the brain of a fly. Just the brain, not the entire fly. Stems cells that are destroyed in this research do not have brains or even neurons. So scientifically there is no way to justify that they can suffer from their destruction any way at all. It is also important to remember that we as humans deem it "okay" to harvest a persons organs once the "brain" is considered dead. So at this point it is okay to unplug, end life and harvest for parts. If it is acceptable to treat a persons brain who's brain has died as somewhat less than a human being then it should also be acceptable to do research on a 3 day old stem cell.
Perhaps you feel that a stem cell has the potential to one day become a human being and a fly will never become such.
Every cell in your body has the potential for becoming a human being.Take into consideration that with the advances in science it is now possible to clone a human from ONE cell of his or her body. So in essence, every time you scratch your nose or ear you have committed a Holocaust of potential human beings. This is fact, not a belief. The argument for a cell's potential gets you absolutely nowhere.
If you believe that life starts at the moment of conception then you also believe that there are souls in these 3 day old stem cells. You must also believe then that a little girl with burns over 75% of her body has a soul that is not as worthy as the 3 day old, 100 cell stem cell sitting in a Petri dish at a lab. Her soul could likely have much less pain if development and research in stem cell science were allowed to advance. The great pain she suffers is due to a lack of understanding of science and a great strangle hold of religious dogma.

Anonymous said...

"We have a joke in our house that subdivisions are always named for whatever they destroyed – no oaks left in Oak Grove, no quail in Quail Hollow, no foxes left in Foxcroft, and so on."

Mary, that is practically plagarism to claim that as a joke of your own. That has to be one of the oldest jokes around. You are hardly an original. In fact, you are somewhat dim in most of your observations lately.

Anonymous said...

^$T@@#!!! you ! previous anon

Anonymous said...

In Merry Oaks, a neighborhood approaching 60, we actually do have oaks (as long as we band against canker worms this fall).
And sometimes we're Merry, Mary.

Anonymous said...

"hite, Christian and Straight Only Estates" I would move into that neighborhood in a heartbeat, as long as they kept their regulations strict and had a good bar at the clubhouse so I could watch all my SEC, drive my 8mpg SUV with a W sticker, and wear normal traditional clothes without being heckled by leftists and thugs.

Anonymous said...

Mary, my main reason for adding a comment is that there is indeed a Possom Hollow! It's part of Indian Land, which also part of (I think) Fort Mill --- just down the road from booming Ballantyne & its growing collection of chi-chi business establishments. (If you wanna check, you'll see there is actually a Possum Hollow Road off 521.....where plain ol' 1950s country houses are steadily bowing to the double pressures of unsophisticated rural "planning" departments & developers' seductive cash offers......systematically replaced by (guess what) more of those "exclusive/discriminating/[insert favorite marketing buzzword here]" subdivisions with those absurd pseudo-British names & pretentious entry gates to match. But I'm ranting here; sorry.

May I offer some possible explanations that contribute to this silly naming trend?:

(1) It is better to seem, than to be.

(2) America has become so estranged from a secure sense of Place --- homogenized from decades of franchised food & retailers, generic manufactured building materials shipped cheaply thousands of miles, and a shared instant media (like this internet) --- that it schizophrenically grasps at ways to re-create one, and the attempts come off as Disney-esque caricatures. It's not good enough to percieve your new community as a comfortable but unpretentious part of the fabric of a small city in Nebraska, say; instead, isn't it so much more appealing to pretend to be some Italian hill town or English village (insofar as the superficial visual vocabulary of its developers jives with the marketability of the "housing product"). I believe the Arts & Crafts movement with its Bungalow house styles is so enduring precisely because it represents a rare exception to this.

(3) Have you noticed that this is not your father's Middle Class? In the '50s, Mom & Dad, handicapped by a lack of multiple credit cards & a more grounded Depression-era upbringing, were quite satisfied with their snug little 3 bedroom house and a sedan in the driveway. Fast forward to 2006 and glance at the nearest tear-down replacement chateau in your neighborhood, or new bloated McMansion in your distant 'burb surrounded by a whole lotta nothing --- this represents the must-have standard of most of today's white-collar management class. Doesn't it seem reasonable that such luxurious digs should be identified with a label as dignified as The Preserve or The Mews?

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housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
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she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
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teen topanga -
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twinks for cash -
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backseat bangers -
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bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
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her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
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naughty office -
neighbor affair -
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teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
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american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
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tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -